This year for my birthday I am honoring a friend who committed suicide by hosting a Cause and asking for donations of $10 for the charity To Write Love on Her Arms. Thank you!
In 2009, after I got pregnant and left the Air Force, I moved to Maryland with my husband. There I met up again with a friend I had first met in training a year or so before. He was also military, a sweet guy, fun to be around. I didn't know many people there so we hung out a lot. He even came over for Thanksgiving that year, I'll never forget how we laughed making deviled eggs together, both of our favorite.
That Christmas he went home to see his family, and while he was gone I gave birth to my oldest, Miss M. I hadn't heard from him in a few weeks, but he liked her photos on Facebook, and sent me a message saying he had a present for her he'd bring by when he got home.
I didn't hear from him again after that. In the midst of the chaos that is the first few months of your first baby's life I didn't reach out to him either. One day I received a call from another friend who had worked with him. He hadn't shown up for work that morning and someone had been sent to find him. They found him in his room, he had killed himself.
Every death is hard, but suicide is unique. There are so many questions. There is no outside force to place blame on, like a drunk driver, an icy road, or abnormal blood cells. There is anger, sadness, and more questions. I remember feeling so angry at my friend. How could he do this? How could he leave and not say goodbye? How could he go before meeting my daughter? I don't know who was more selfish, he or I.
Years later I still think about my friend every day. Every year around my birthday and Thanksgiving, I think of how this was the last time I had seen him. Happily sitting on the couch with me, fighting over the last deviled egg. I remember him like that. Happy.
On Sunday I turn 25. I'd like to use the day as an opportunity to raise awareness, to celebrate his life and our friendship. I started a Birthday Wish on Causes for the charity To Write Love on Her Arms. TWLOHA is an organization that focuses on supporting this who suffer from depression, self infliction, and suicide. I set a goal of $250 and would be honored if you would donate just $10 in memory of my friend. If you aren't able to donate then please go to the link and share!
Thank you so much everyone!